


i become such a monster when i miss you

by cresselia



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 13:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1307311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresselia/pseuds/cresselia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Amy has to return home for an undisclosed amount of time, Jake is left reeling from her absence. (Or, Jake and Amy completely fail at long distance dating.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i become such a monster when i miss you

_Sunday Morning_

 

“It's only going to be for a little while.”

 

Jake made a whining noise and reached his fork across the table, stealing a bite of Amy's pancakes. She shot him a look and sighed, taking a final bite of her food before sliding the plate over to him.

 

“Bribing me with food won't work this time, Santiago.”

 

The pair was sitting at Amy's kitchen table, the sun peeking brightly through the curtains of her living room. Saturday mornings were typically lazy for them, choosing to wake up without the assistance of an alarm clock and cooking a late breakfast. Such was the routine they had developed months ago after the first time they slept together and began their relationship.

 

“Well, do  _you_  want to come back to New Jersey with me to spend time with my sick mother?”

 

Jake sighed dramatically and continued eating off of Amy's abandoned plate. “You know that I'm awful with parents. Not a fair argument.” His habit of speaking with a full mouth left maple syrup on the corner of his mouth, which Amy leaned across the table to wipe off with a napkin and exhaustingly fond expression.

 

“Listen.” She smiled and reached for his hand. “I'll be gone for three weeks tops. My dad is away on business, and all of my brothers are either too far away or busy with their kids. I won't be that far, and you can call or text me whenever you want. This isn't permanent.”

 

As his girlfriend and partner, Amy was well aware of the issues that Jake refused to admit he had with change. The panicked look in his eyes when she told him she'd be returning to New Jersey for a while reminded of her a time in the not too distant past when he had learn she was considering transferring to major crimes. It wasn't like she  _wanted_  to be away from him, but her mother needed her.

 

“I know,” Jake finally spoke, biting the inside of his cheek and squeezing her hand back, “but it's just going to suck.”

 

“I'll be back before you know it.”

 

“You better be.”

 

Amy cracked a grin.

 

–

 

_Monday Morning_

 

Jake sat at his desk, glancing longingly across from himself every now and then.

 

He had been at the ninety nine before Amy and worked there without her, but having her gone felt foreign and unpleasant. Even before they started dating, the idea of Amy no longer working with him made his stomach churn. He'd grown used to her as a partner, and her absence as a girlfriend made the emptiness feel particularly poignant.

 

He knew she had little choice in taking time off to take care of her mother, but he still hated being away from her. For some couples, spending so much time together would be detrimental to their relationship, but it only strengthened theirs. One of the best parts of his day had come to be looking up and seeing her type diligently away on her computer or staring determinedly at a case file.

 

Not to mention he spent at least half of his time bugging and trying to distract her. With Amy gone, he actually had to do his work.

 

Luckily, his phone went off before he actually started. A selfie he took with Amy flashed on the screen of his phone, him trying to lick her cheek and her looking absolutely disgusted. It was one of his favorites.

 

“Miss me already?” he answered cheekily, spinning in his chair.

 

Amy entirely ignored his question with one of her own. “So, would you believe me if I told you that despite growing up with seven brothers, I was never taught how to change a flat tire?”

 

Jake resisted the urge to laugh. “Where are you?”

 

“Almost outside of the state.”

 

“Is this the part where you beg the boyfriend you so carelessly abandoned to come change your tire so you can ditch him again?” He could practically see her expression of wounded pride on the other line, and it made his own ego glow with pleasure because he knew he was right. “Because said boyfriend would be happy to.”

 

“Will you get in trouble with Holt if you leave?”

 

“Nah.” Jake grinned and hopped up from his seat, slipping on his jacket. “I mean, it's a favor for you, his protege and favorite detective with whom he has  _such_  a special connection, so he has to understand.”

 

“I'm so going to kick your ass when you get here.”

 

“Language, darling!” Jake pulled the phone away from his ear to knock on Holt's office door. When he entered, the captain didn't even look up from his desk. “Santiago got a flat tire on her way out of state. Is it cool if I go help her?”

 

“Don't be gone all day, and give her my well wishes for her mother's health.”

 

Jake nodded, and Amy squealed in delight on the other line at Holt's words as he left the office and shut the door behind him.

 

“I'll be there soon, okay?”

 

“Wait – are you going to hang up on me?” He could hear the pout in her voice, and it made his chest warm with affection. “Worst boyfriend ever.”

 

As he opened his car and slid into the driver's seat, he snorted. “Keep it up, Santiago. Maybe I'll just send Scully and Hitchcock to come help you. I'm a very important man with very important business to tend to, you know.”

 

“You wouldn't.”

 

“I spent over a grand on a fake date designed to make you miserable – you  _know_  I would.”

 

Jake grinned and pulled out of the precinct parking lot. “See you in a few.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

–

 

_Wednesday Night_

 

It wasn't that Amy's mother was too old or fragile to take care of herself. In fact, if it wasn't her mother from whom Amy inherited her determination and work ethic, there would be no need for her in New Jersey, but as it stood, her mother was far too stubborn to take time off.

 

She had started showing signs of fatigue earlier in the month, and it would have been easily taken care if she had listened to her doctor's advice, but Lily Santiago was a dedicated worker with a career she had worked too hard to let something as trivial as sickness get in the way of. Working herself too hard put too much of a strain on her body to the point where Amy's father called and requested she come home to watch over her mother while she finally got the rest she needed.

 

It was much more difficult than she had anticipated.

 

Her mother spent nearly every moment trying to clean up around the house or call her coworkers to check up on how they were handling taking over her work. It was exhausting.

 

By the time her mother finally went to bed for the evening, Amy felt beyond stressed and retired to her childhood bedroom that had been shared with two of her brothers. There was only one bed inside now, as she had taken over it once she was the only Santiago child left in the house while the last of her brothers left for college.

 

Amy opened up her laptop and glanced at the time in the corner. She and Jake had scheduled a Skype date in ten minutes that she was desperately looking forward to. The day before, she had been busy with settling in and becoming familiar with her mother's situation, so they hadn't had much time to talk, and she already missed him like a lost appendage.

 

He signed on, and almost immediately her computer alerted her that she was receiving an incoming call. She answered it right away.

 

His face filled her screen with a bright smile that instantly made her feel more at ease. Amy picked up her laptop and slouched back against her pillows.

 

“Amy, I – Wait, where are you?”

 

“Childhood bedroom.”

 

A look of realization dawned on his face. “Did your parents ever redecorate it?”

 

“There's a 'Titanic' movie poster staring at me from across the room. It was pretty weird having a young Leonardo DiCaprio stare at me when I got changed fifteen minutes ago.”

 

Jake put on a comically stern face. “That's uncalled for. Want me to drive to New Jersey and fuck him up?”

 

“You know, I think I could handle DiCaprio in his early 20's. Thanks for the offer, though.”

 

His face broke into a smile, and he took a bite of whatever he had ordered for dinner. Amy knew he had to have ordered out because his cooking skills were deplorable, and she'd been cooking their meals for the past couple of months.

 

“So, I think I deserve a tour of your childhood bedroom to make up for you neglecting me yesterday.”

 

Amy pursed her lips. “Fine.”

 

His eyes lit up, and Amy picked the laptop back up as she rolled out of her too-small bed. She held the laptop facing outwards as she walked around the room.

 

“Amy Santiago, is the color scheme of your bedroom  _pink and white_?”

 

“Hey – I  _was_  a teenage girl once.”

 

“Funny, I thought you were born a no-nonsense grown adult.”

 

She couldn't see his face from the angle she was holding the computer, but she knew the exact expression he was wearing. It was the same one he wore the first time she admitted she'd always found him attractive.

 

Her bedroom wasn't too embarrassing, though. It featured white walls with pink accents in her bedspread and curtains. Her furniture was mostly dark oak colored, and a good majority of her posters had been taken down by the time she finished high school and moved to her college dorm.

 

Amy sat back down on the bed and rested the laptop in front of her.

 

“I would ask how many boys you snuck into your bedroom to makeout with, but I think we both already know the answer to that.”

 

“Two, actually,” she replied, glaring at him. “Adam Delaney in sophomore year and Seth Eisenberg in senior year.”

 

“Are you trying to tell me that I'm not the first Jewish boy you've dated? For shame, Santiago. You should've known to disclose such information to me when I asked you out.”

 

“I'm going to hang up on you,” she warned.

 

“Fine, fine. But before we drop the subject, I just want you to know that I totally would have madeout with you in your childhood bedroom.”

 

“Something tells me that you would have madeout with any girl in any venue as a teenager.”

 

“No, I meant now.”

 

Amy felt her cheeks flush as she mustered up a weak glare in Jake's direction. “Weirdo.”

 

–

 

_Friday Night_

 

The day had been tiring between taking her mother to the doctor and running around doing errands. When Amy got back to the house, all she wanted to do was talk to Jake. The groceries sat in the backseat of her car as she pulled out her phone and dialed his number, parked in the driveway.

 

It took a few rings before he answered.

 

“AMY!”

 

“... Gina?”

 

She bit back a groan. The background noise and chanting made it obvious that the team must have been out together – it was a Friday night, after all – and all she wanted to do was hear her boyfriend's voice. They'd been fairly consistent in keeping contact with one another throughout the week, but she knew there was very little chance she would be able to relax to Jake's voice if he was getting drunk with their co-workers.

 

“Heeeeeeeey girl,” Gina slurred into the phone. “Your bf's a little busy destroying Boyle in quarters right now.”

 

“Can you just put him on for me?” Amy asked, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel.

 

“Can do, kiddo.”

 

Amy heard shuffling noises and loud music while Gina slipped across the bar and thrusted the phone into Jake's hand.

 

“Yo!”

 

“Hey, what are you doing?”

 

“Kicking Charles' ass in drinking games.” Boyle made a noise of confirmation in the background. “What's up?”

 

“Nothing. I just had a kind of stressful day.”

 

“Aww, I'm sorry, babe.”

 

She could still hear the sound of quarters bouncing off of the table on the other line, and she bit back a scathing comment. She was already annoyed, and it wasn't Jake's fault – she didn't want to snap at him for something he didn't deserve. But he  _could_  have just stepped outside to talk to her for a few minutes.

 

“Hey, do you want to watch a movie together tomorrow night or something over the phone? I'll even let you pick.”

 

“Huh? Sorry, it's hard to hear in the bar.”

 

“Then go outside.”

 

“But I'll lose by default, and I'll never be able to live down losing to Charles in a game of quarters.”

 

Amy breathed out harshly. “Fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow or something. Have fun.”

 

“You too! Love you!”

 

Before she could even return the sentiment, he'd already hung up the phone. Amy stared at it for a long minute before shaking her head and carrying the groceries inside.

 

–

 

_Saturday Morning_

 

From: JAKE

“need a hangover remedy asap pls and thank u”

 

From: AMY

“Try not getting unnecessarily wasted.”

 

From: JAKE

“woah cranky. is ur mom giving u a hard time again?”

 

From: AMY

“No, she's fine.”

 

From: JAKE

“...”

 

From: JAKE

“r u mad at me?”

 

From: AMY

“Can't talk right now. My mom is throwing up in the other room. Call you later.”

 

–

 

_Saturday Night_

 

She didn't really want to call him, but she knew she probably should. While she and Jake bickered all of the time, it was rare for an actual exchange of anger between them. Besides, she knew how awful he tended to feel when he did something to upset her, and as much as she might want to nurse her indignant irritation, resolving things would be the mature thing to do.

 

He picked up on the first ring.

 

“Amy?”

 

“... Hey. Are you home?”

 

“Yeah, I kind of slept most of the day. … Do you want to tell me what's going on?”

 

Amy picked at the tassels of the throw pillow on her couch. “I was kind of mad at you last night.”

 

“Because I was out drinking?”

 

“Kind of. I had a bad day, and I just wanted to hear your voice, but you just brushed me off.”

 

He paused, and she could feel her stomach fill with the dread that usually accompanied their actual fights. “My life can't stop just because you're out of state.”

 

“I know, Jake. I just wanted you to take five minutes to talk to me, and then I wouldn't have cared after that.”

 

“Okay, I get it. I'm sorry.” He sounded sincere. “Do you forgive me?”

 

“Of course, doofus.”

 

The sound of his laughter filled her ears and immediately soothed her nerves.

 

“So, do you still want to watch that movie together because ABC Family is, like, one movie into a Harry Potter marathon, and I know how much you like those movies.”

 

A smile tugged at her lips. “You don't even like Harry Potter.”

 

“I know, but you do. And I owe you now, plus I already have the channel changed. The ginger is throwing up slugs – it's nasty.”

 

Amy rolled her eyes and turned on her television. “That's Ron. He was trying to defend Hermione when Draco called her a slur, but his curse backfired on him because his wand is broken.”

 

“You're such a nerd.” His voice was full of affection, and she knew that if they were sitting next to one another, he would have scooped her against him and kissed the top of her head with a small smile. “I'd take a snail curse for you, Santiago.”

 

“I'd break the rules and jinx someone to get you a place on the quidditch team.”

 

“I don't understand any of that.”

 

“Just wait until we get to Halfblood Prince.”

 

–

 

_Wednesday Morning_

 

Things were fine between them after Saturday night, but Holt assigned Jake to a new homicide case that was taking up most of his time. Amy understood, of course, but she still missed him desperately. And she'd heard his voice mail message more times than she could count.

 

“ _Hey, you've got Peralta. Leave your message after the beep.”_

 

“Hey Jake,” she started, folding laundry lazily and tossing it into the nearby basket. “Just calling to check up on you and the case. Hope everything's been going well. Call me back when you get the chance. Love you.”

 

–

 

_Wednesday Night_

 

Jake had heard his phone ringing multiple times during the day, but it was distracting to the point that he had to turn it off. The lack of evidence in the case he'd been assigned to was frustrating. Holt eventually sent him home to rest and return the next morning with a fresh mind. When he got in his car and finally turned his phone back on, he saw the several missed calls from Amy and felt his heart drop.

 

She'd left him a couple of voicemails too.

 

“ _Hey Jake. Just calling to check up on you and the case. Hope everything's going well. Call me back when you get the chance. Love you.”_

 

Of course she'd called as the most supporting girlfriend and partner in the world, and of course he'd shut off his phone instead of answering.

 

“ _Is it weird that I miss your dumb face? I think I must have Stockholm Syndrome or something. We should Skype again soon.”_

 

He swallowed hard. There was one more.

 

“ _My mom is driving me insane again. She won't take her stupid medicine and keeps insisting that she's all better and ready to go back to work. Is this what it's like putting up with me?”_ He cracks a grin.  _“Plus she keeps asking me about you and when we're going to get married and give her grandkids. It's weird. She's weird. Come save me – ugh, I think someone's at the door. Call me back whenever.”_

 

When the message ended, he immediately dialed her number. It rang for a little bit before reaching her voicemail.

 

“ _Amy Santiago. Leave your name and number, and I'll get back to as soon as possible.”_

 

It sounded so professional, and so very Amy.

 

“Sorry I missed your calls earlier. This case is really driving me insane. Holt is sending me home to sleep, which is probably a good idea, but I think I might stay up and watch cartoons on Netflix or something. I would invite you to join me, but you're obviously asleep early like the giant dork you are. I'll talk to you later.”

 

–

 

_Thursday Morning_

 

“ _Hey, you've got Peralta. Leave your message after the beep.”_

 

“Ugh, missed you again. You've got to stop turning your phone off at work. If you need any help with the case, let me know. I  _am_  your partner in addition to being your girlfriend, you know. And I wasn't asleep last night – I went out for drinks with my old neighbor. Turns out he's back in town and heard I was too. It was fun and a nice break from my mom. But I should probably go now, so I'll talk to you soon, okay?”

 

–

 

Thursday Afternoon

 

“ _Amy Santiago. Leave your name and number, and I'll get back to as soon as possible.”_

 

“He? As in a male neighbor. Amy Santiago, are you hooking up with old flames behind my back? I'd send you some details from the case, but I don't want to put anymore stress on your shoulders. Plus, I'm a kickass detective, and I can totally handle this on my own. I'm ready to pass out if I don't grab something to eat, though, so I'll be eagerly awaiting your return call.”

 

–

 

_Thursday Night_

 

“ _Hey, you've got Peralta. Leave your message after the beep.”_

 

“Phone tag is getting old. But, yeah, you caught me. I've been wanting to hook up with Tony since the first time I saw him after his braces came off. And if you say so, but I'm still here if you need anything. Miss you.”

 

–

 

_Friday Night_

 

It had been nearly a week since the last time they had an actual conversation. Amy, who was far less busy than him, had taken to sending him silly texts and pictures to cheer him up when his shift was over or Holt forced him home, but it still wasn't the same as actual conversation.

 

And despite how much Jake only  _joked_  about Amy hooking up with her childhood neighbor, the amount of time she was spending with him was starting to gnaw at him. Of course, he knew Amy wasn't going to cheat on him, but he'd always been kind of insecure of their relationship. It wasn't as if he had low self esteem, but he had such high esteem for Amy that sometimes he secretly worried she might realize she deserved better.

 

It would be two weeks on Monday since they last physically saw each other, and he wasn't above admitting how much he missed having her with him. He missed her wiping stray food from the corner of his mouth at lunch and holding her hand when they arrived at and left work and sleeping with her curled up beside him at night. Also sex, but he was trying really hard not to focus on that and sound like a pig.

 

And he knew she was right about being able to help him. If Amy had been there, the case probably would have been solved by now, but he was short one partner, one suspect, and a whole lot of evidence. A woman had been murdered, and working so closely with her grieving husband was tugging at his heartstrings. More than once, he imagined himself in the man's position and felt his body grow cold.

 

Boyle had invited him out for the night, but his bad mood had culminated too far, and he didn't want to accidentally take his frustration out on someone else. Instead, he had opted for staying home and moping around at the distance between himself and his girlfriend.

 

His phone lit up, the familiar picture of the two of them flashing on the screen. Jake moved his hand to answer it and hit the “reject call” button at the last minute, not entirely sure of why he did it.

 

He turned off his television and climbed into bed.

 

–

 

_Friday Night_

 

He'd rejected her call. It was ten at night, and she knew he wasn't at work still. She'd just spoken to Rosa and knew he hadn't gone out with everyone else either. It was the perfect opportunity to finally catch him, but he'd rejected her call.

 

Amy dropped her phone on the bed, feeling something uncomfortable in the pit of her stomach. He was probably just tired and cranky from the case. Maybe he'd been asleep and she'd woken him up. There had to be a reasonable explanation, right?

 

–

 

_Saturday Night_

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.”

 

“Where've you been?”

 

“You know, just really busy with work. I barely have a moment to myself. Sorry.”

 

“Oh... Are you okay? You sound upset?”

 

“No, I'm fine. Just tired, I guess. I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too. A lot.”

 

“Well, y'know, old neighbors are nothing compared to me.”

 

“Tony's good company. He's really sweet.”

 

“At least you're not stuck there alone anymore.”

 

“... Are you sure you're okay? You just sound... I don't know.”

 

“It's just the case, Amy.”

 

“You should seriously let me help you.”

 

“I don't need the help. Besides, you need to focus on helping your mom get better so you can hurry up and get back here.”

 

“Jake, I know you're frustrated, but I bet I can help you.”

 

“I don't need your help. I need peace and quiet to solve this stupid case. And I need the captain not to keep sending me home and let me just hit my stride and figure everything out.”

 

“Jake...”

 

“Listen, Amy, I've got to go. And I don't want to get mad at you for something that's not your fault, so how about I call you when things are less stressful here?”

 

“Oh. Oh... Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

 

“Cool. Love you.”

 

“Love you too. Talk to you...whenever, I guess.”

 

–

 

_Monday Afternoon_

 

Not being able to talk to Jake because of inconvenience was one thing, but knowing that he didn't want to talk to her was another entirely. She knew he was doing it for work and to keep from fighting with her when it wasn't her fault, but it didn't sting any less.

 

The days started going by much longer.

 

–

 

_Tuesday Night_

 

Without even the slightest possibility of talking to Amy in the day, work started to feel longer and more daunting. Which was what he claimed to have wanted and was actually working. He'd finally hit a break through in the case, and he suspected he'd have it solved within the next two days.

 

It was solved by the next night, and the victim's husband invited him to the funeral that could now finally take place. Jake agreed to go but suspected he wouldn't end up making an appearance. The cause had felt personal to him – despite never having been married, engaged, or even in many adult relationships outside of his current relationship with Amy – and he was sure that the funeral would be too much for him.

 

With the case solved, he knew it would be okay to call Amy again, but after their last conversation all he wanted to do was put it off.

 

–

 

_Thursday Afternoon_

 

“Your mother seems to be on the fast track to recovery, Miss Santiago. You've been taking such good care of her, she's made tremendous strides back toward good health. I know you've been staying with her, so we only ask that you remain with her until Tuesday to make sure she takes the last of her medication.”

 

Amy blinked and nodded, uncharacteristically speechless and dumbfound. She'd be able to return home in only a matter of days. She should've been feeling ecstatic, and while she was happy that her mother was back to good health, the thought of going back to Brooklyn filled her with anxiety.

 

She still hadn't spoken to Jake since their last phone call and had no idea where they stood.

 

When she arrived back at the house with her mother, she spotted a familiar black car as they pulled into the driveway. What was more familiar, was the person leaning against it, scrolling through his phone, leather jacket and all. Amy felt her pulse speed up with a mixture of excitement and dread.

 

“Who's that – Amy do you have your badge and gun on you?” her mother asked, squinting ahead.

 

“Don't worry about it, Mom. That's... That's Jake.”

 

“Your boyfriend? You didn't tell me he was coming.”

 

“I didn't know.”

 

Amy parked the car and climbed out of it, locking the doors behind herself and her mother. Jake had already pocketed his phone with a nervous smile on his face. She blinked, and before she could even ask him what he was doing here, he'd already taken long strides over to her and scooped her up in his arms.

 

His hands cupped her face as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers into a kiss. It felt like muscle memory as she returned it eagerly, grabbing onto his mandatory tie to pull him closer. He smelt exactly as she remembered him, and it eased any anxieties she'd had upon seeing him. She pulled away for air, and he rested his forehead against hers, both of their eyes closed.

 

Amy was about to tug him down for another kiss when her mother cleared her throat a few feet away.

 

“Your mother's been standing there, watching us the whole time, hasn't she?” he murmured.

 

She nodded.

 

“I suck at first impressions.”

 

They pulled away from one another to face her mother, and Jake wrapped his arm around her waist with a nervous smile.

 

“Mrs. Santiago! Nice to...finally...meet you...” It was so novel to see Jake so nervous, and Amy enjoyed every second of it. “Sorry about that show of public affection, but I haven't seen Amy in weeks, and I just... Yeah.”

 

“It's nice to meet you as well,” her mother replied, primly as ever. “I'm going to give you two some time together – I'll be in the house taking my medication.” She turned to leave, and once she was inside the house, both Amy and Jake burst into nervous laughter.

 

“Jesus! She's intimidating as hell – I see where you get it from. But on the other hand, she's definitely a milf.”

 

Amy's jaw dropped, and she smacked his arm. “You're disgusting! That's my mom!”

 

“Hey! You clearly get your looks from her too, so I'll have that to look forward to in the future.”

 

“You're gross – I can't believe I even missed you.”

 

Jake pouted and pulled her closer. “That hurts, Santiago. Besides, I think the several voicemails and text messages I received would beg otherwise.”

 

She leaned up. “Like I said, Stockholm Syndrome.”

 

“Excuses, excuses,” he muttered, leaning back down to meet her halfway.

 

Jake pressed her gently against the side of his car, hands planted firmly against her hips. As she wrapped her hands in his hair and tugged at his curls, Amy hoped to God her mother wasn't spying on them. The kiss grew deeper, and Amy pulled away, nuzzling her nose against his jaw.

 

“C'mon, we should go inside,” she said breathlessly.

 

“Do we have to?”

 

“I'll let you have at my Titanic poster. You can confront 90's Leonardo DiCaprio.”

 

“Well, I  _do_  have to defend your honor.”

 

–

 

_Thursday Night_

 

They decided that it would be mean to send Jake home that night, so he would spend the night at the house and leave for New York in the morning. Fortunately for him, the sleeping arrangement allowed for him to attempt fulfilling his goal of making out with Amy in his twin-sized childhood bed.

 

As soon as they headed up to her room for the night, he immediately reached for the Titanic poster and rolled it up, tossing it aside.

 

“Told you I'd take care of it.”

 

“You're so weird.” Amy grinned and reached for his hand, dragging him over to the bed. “I have no idea how we're both going to fit. I'll probably have to sleep on top of you.”

 

“Whatever, you only weigh, like, ten pounds. You've done it before.”

 

Jake knelt on her bed, dipping down to kiss her. Before he reached her, Amy held her finger to his lips. He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

 

“What's up?”

 

“I think we should talk.”

 

Jake swallowed nervously and moved to sit next to her. He knew the talk was coming, but he'd been dreading it. Besides, he'd been so caught up in being reunited with Amy – relieved that she was just as happy to see him too – that it had slipped his mind. Now that she was in front of him, all he wanted to do was kiss her until she was breathless and hold her until they both fell asleep.

 

“Alright, give it to me straight, Santiago. Don't pull any punches.”

 

“What do you mean?” Her brow furrowed. “I just want to know what was going on with you?”

 

“Oh.” He reached for her hand, looking forward. “Do I have to?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Jake licked his lips and looked up at the ceiling. He'd gotten better at earnestly expressing his feelings to Amy, but his insecurities were something else entirely. He knew he'd been in the wrong, and even though they were dating, he was still reluctant to admit his mistakes to her.

 

“It was...a combination of the case and being so far from you. It was the first time we've been away from each other since we started dating. It kind of fucked with me more than I expected, Amy.”

 

“You never told me what the case was about,” she replied softly.

 

He squeezed her hand. “A woman was murdered. I know that's not unusual or anything, but her husband was around the precinct a lot. It's the first time I've had a case like that since...y'know, us. And I think I finally understand why Terry used to be so scared of going back in the field. Things start being...different when you have people you love in your life. I mean, I had my mom already, but...you know what I mean, right?”

 

Amy felt her heart swell, and she rested her head against his shoulder as he spoke. She could feel him squeeze her hand, and she rubbed circles in his palm. “Jake...”

 

“I know, I know. And being away from you just. It really sucked, Amy. I've never been needy in relationships before, and it made me feel like shit.”

 

She swallowed a lump in her throat and let go of his hand. Jake shut his eyes at the loss of contact, but she placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling him to face her.

 

“Jake, I missed you too. Just as much. I knew exactly how you felt, and the thought of losing you is terrifying to me too, but you can't just...shut me out like that.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He smiled down at her affectionately, pecking her forehead quickly. “I'm sorry, Amy.”

 

“I know you are, pineapples.”

 

Jake rolled his eyes and scooped her into his lap, burying his face in her neck. “I know I've said it a million times, but I missed you so fucking much.”

 

“Well, I have some good news for you. My mom is almost all better. Her doctor just wants me to stay with her until Tuesday, then I should be able to come back home.”

 

His face lit up immediately. “That's awesome!”

 

She nodded and leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on his lips. “See, you won't have to go too much longer without me.”

 

“I wouldn't be able to last, to be honest.”

 

Amy grinned and pushed him back softly against the bed, his back hitting the mattress with an “oomph”. She leaned over to kiss him, but he cleared his throat at the last second, gazing up at her wistfully.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Do you want to move in together?”

 

Amy sat back up and knitted her eyebrows together. “What?”

 

“We can live at your apartment, if you want. I would offer mine, but it's pretty small. But we can even find a new place if you want. I don't care – I just want to live with you.”

 

“Have you even thought this through?”

 

“No,” he admitted, expression not even wavering. “I thought of it when I was driving here. All I knew was that I wanted to see you and couldn't take being away from you anymore. I forgot I wanted to ask you until just now.”

 

“Well, at least you're honest.”

 

“So...is that a yes?” he asked, voice wavering hopefully.

 

“It's a maybe. We're tabling this discussion until I get back home.”

 

“A maybe is better than a no.” Jake grinned and tugged her back down to him, trailing kisses on her jaw.

 

“I just want to clarify, we are not having sex with my mom only rooms away.”

 

“Amy Santiago, you are all kinds of cruel. Can we at least makeout?”

 

She stared at him inscrutably for a moment. “Just try not to fall off of the bed, Peralta.”

 

“Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> the title is a quote by clementine von radics
> 
> i've written a lot of getting-together fics, but there's something really refreshing about writing established relationship. this is also significantly longer than other jake/amy fics i've written, but i think i'm pretty pleased with the outcome. i'd be lying if i said a small part of this fic wasn't inspired by the office and the time pam spent in new york at pratt. plus, i love me some angst.
> 
> additionally, i still think jake would be one of the world's most doting and proud boyfriends. fight me.


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